
When loving yourself and also in order not to be manipulated or people wasting your time, you need to set some boundaries or lay down some rules clearly. Boundaries cause people to respect you and your time.
Ways Boundaries Works In My Life
1. Respecting my time
I come from South Asian background, I was born in Manchester and grew up in London, my parents are originally from Lahore, Pakistan and they were both born in India so we are Punjabis and South Asian, we are very merry people and we are used to having lots of guests, friends and families and the concept of asking before you turn up does not exist, everyone just turns up whenever they feel like it.
When I was younger, I began to train my family and friends that they need to send a message across before showing up at my house because I am busy and I have other commitments. You pre-arrange before you show up and I know it became more common in my family and people messaged me before they showed up rather than just showing up. Subconsciously, I did this because of my commitments to work and my kids, I don’t like people calling me randomly either, my phone is on flight mode or DND so nobody’s calls can go through when I am working.
If I get a call, I will answer if it’s from a number that I recognize or I send those voicemails asking them to leave me a message and for me to get back to them and I realized that I have been doing this to my family and friends as well. They have to arrange time to speak with me and I get them to respect my time now because I respect my time, I didn’t realize I had done it so well until it was brought to my attention.
My school pickup and drop off time is between three and six. There are a couple of people like my brother and some of my cousins who would call me at that time, if it’s them I would answer, if not, I would not answer and just say, I’m sorry I can’t speak right now and give them a call much later. I am very clear in my mind that if someone calls me without arranging to see if I am free, they are not respecting my time, Of course I’m happy to speak to people but in a time that we can arrange which is convenient for the both of us. If I’m working or doing something else, cooking, there are a number of things that I could be doing, you can’t just call and expect me to answer.
There is this family member from Pakistan, they just randomly called and I actually said to them that I was busy at the moment and I wasn’t busy at the time, I was doing a mundane task but I didn’t want them to think that they can just call me anytime and I will answer, I asked if it was urgent and they said no so I said “I’m sorry, I’m busy at the moment, I’ll call when it’s more convenient” and I arranged a time with them and I called back.
Don’t be rude, I am telling you to be very vigilant with your time management and allow people understand that your time is precious and they need to respect you and respect your time, you have to stand up and respect yourself, respect your time and this will enforce other people to follow suit and do the same, if you think that you can carry on being a doormat and become wealthy.
People ask why a nice person doesn’t last and good things don’t happen to good people. Good things do happen to good people, good people just have to be more vigilant and be more mindful so they don’t let people manipulate them. it is one of the reasons why you have to be really careful about who you allow in your space .You have to be very careful with your time.
I don’t care who you are or who calls if it’s a number that I don’t recognize, I will pick it up incase it is urgent and ask if it’s urgent and when they say yes or no, depending on who is on the line, if it’s not urgent, it doesn’t matter who it is, I’ll ask them to call back later around a particular time and if they do not call me back during that time, I will not answer. I am very clear about that, if you need to you contact me otherwise, you can through email and I don’t read lengthy emails either.
I do respect my time and I want you to respect your time. It’s one of the first boundaries that you have to lay down, very clearly.
2. Learn to say no
The second one is related to people respecting you but it’s a bit more deeper. If you can enforce your first boundary and get people to start respecting your time, the second one becomes a non-issue. People don’t tend to do the second one if they’re already respecting you and that is manipulating you for money and other things emotionally, blackmailing you to do things that you don’t necessarily want to do.
So the second boundary is about learning to say no. I remember when I first learned how to say no, it was really hard. I come from a family, like my mother who was overly generous, she had 14 siblings which she helped out financially and otherwise, every single one of them, a lot of the time. She would give things to them by taking them away from my kids, she takes the money and gives it to somebody else who needs it more. That was her idea of generosity, when I look back in time, I do believe in giving and generosity, but this is why one of the bank accounts we talk about the three steps to cash flow street is charity and charity has 10% in there for a reason. People who are overly generous, people who are empaths, and who it’s in their nature to be generous give more than they should and I think you should calculate a 10% until you do have sufficient amount of money in your bank account, until then 10% is efficient.
I remember one time, this uncle of mine who’s passed away now, he was a younger brother of hers and he demanded, he didn’t ask ,that she give him 5,000 pounds. This was about 30 years ago, I was about to enter into my teenage years. And I remember this clearly because he asked her for this huge amount of money which was 5,000 pounds, which was a lot of money for a woman who was working God knows how many hours at this factory and making only a hundred pounds a week. If she had the money, she would definitely send it but she didn’t have the money so she said no and he got so upset with her, how dare she say no to him when she has helped everybody else out, how she has never helped him out, he didn’t speak to her for years thereafter and I found out that even though he was not asking, he was demanding, she helped because she was so used to helping people.
He knew that she helped everyone else so how can she not help him. It doesn’t matter how she got the money, She needs to get the money and send it to him. So that kind of behavior and my mother still didn’t learn by the way, God bless her soul, she was just a very generous person. You need to set boundaries and especially if you are on this path of enlightenment and you want to be prosperous at the same time, you need to lay down boundaries, you’re not a bank. If people want money, they shouldn’t come to you, they should go to their bank and you are not a bank and you should not be bailing people out, don’t enable people, empower people, help them to help themselves. There’s an old saying that if you give a man fish, he eats for a day, you teach how to fish, he feeds for the rest of his life.
You need to help people that want to help themselves, you don’t want to be helping people who don’t want to learn how to fish. They just want you to give them the fish every single day and the day you stop giving them the fish, they get angry. There are times when you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you can’t say no because of such a situation.
A situation where if I didn’t help, this person would be out on the streets. I am trying to lay down boundaries so that this situation can be controlled and can be taken care of as quickly as possible but at the same time, I don’t want to feel like I have been taken advantage of, it gives a really wrong energy.
My brother is just similar to my mom, God bless his soul. He is easily taken advantage of and he just feels compelled to be in this situation as things are and there was nothing else he could do. He couldn’t help this individual because it was a girl so I stepped in and I am able to help but people would take advantage of it because they think they can. I am seen as someone who’s done well and they clearly asked me if I can pay the legal fees as well and I said “No I am sorry, this is your responsibility. I am afraid I can’t do that, you have to pay the money” My brother would have nodded and found ways to justify. I’m not gonna lie, I do have the money but I have refused to pay it.
I was doing enough as it is and it was very clear and the way it was requested was similar to the tone that my uncle used on my mother a while ago where it was demanded, I wasn’t asked if I could loan it to them or if I could help them. You need to give yourself permission to say no, plain and simple, when you learn to say no, that becomes a very empowering skill that you have.
You can say no initially and have a change of heart afterwards, If you do have a change of heart, you don’t feel pressured into saying yes at that very moment, you are happy to help, they would be more elated to hear this news. If you say yes because you’re obligated to say yes but later on when you go away, you think about it and you can’t help them and you pick the phone, call up and tell them that you found out you can’t help them, they will feel bad and upset towards you.
Conclusion
I hope we now understand how boundaries enable our self care and self love and how they go hand in hand in your journey to becoming wealthy. If you don’t love yourself enough to value your time, then you are never going to become wealthy.
If you can’t value your time, you will not value your money. It’s as simple as that. Love and respect yourself and your time and enforce other people to do the same.

Purpose is what you were created for in life. I always say to people that the fact that you have a particular desire is the Universe’s or Divine energy’s way of guiding you through life for a particular purpose. Every single individual who’s born on this planet has a particular purpose. Whether they understand it and fulfill it is another story but everyone has a purpose that’s unique to them.
Our children need to grow with the flexibility and the ability to create their own vision, to create their own life, recognize their own purpose and create a vision thereby. Your vision is what you feel you are here to create. Elon Musk had this vision of traveling to space and has made creating the travel means his purpose, your vision could be to create these amazing wheelchairs so people can have better accessibility or it could be you wanting to go and help young women in remote places, giving education and access to quality health care to orphans.
We’ve explored purpose and vision but what are goals?



These mindset tricks can change our entire outlook on life and uplift our living standards if we make them our daily habit and part of our lives. Remember that what you believe shows in your lifestyle and influences your life decisions so start believing that you’re living in abundance and let your actions reflect this belief. As you begin to feel that you deserve to be wealthy, you deserve everything good in your life, it manifests, you get results from your hard work.
Why is keeping your eye on the ball important when creating and building your wealth?
So in order for you to become wealthy, you have to be focused on money making activities. This is one of the most important things, my book has been great, it gets me recognition and it’s also great for brand awareness but it’s not really a money making activity. When it comes to my son, that’s obviously not a money making activity but it is priceless so is the time that I spent with him in order for him to become greater and I’m so proud that he has and we’ll find out the final results as soon, but we already have an offer from a school that I really want him to go to.
It is being focused and prepared in terms of what life has in store for you and what’s important to you, I don’t have to support my daughter but I’m going to choose to do it. I didn’t have to support my son, but I chose to do it, their father doesn’t spend the time. He doesn’t care what exam he has, that’s his choice. For me it was taking him to the exams, preparing him before exams, giving him the mindset tools, allowing him to take the energy tools and watching him be the best version of himself at interviews and exams, that was my choice, I want to do that but it also meant that those times I was not
Whatever you are focusing on accept it and then reassess whether you’re not focused on wealth, if you are not focused on wealth, you will not create wealth, if you’re not focused on creating a business which gives you the financial freedom, you will not have that financial freedom.
What are you doing with your time? How focused are you on your goal? Because if you’re not focused on your goal, if you don’t have a burning desire for this goal, you are never gonna achieve it. It will be a dream, it doesn’t matter how many mind maps you make or how many vision boards you make, it doesn’t matter how many affirmations you say, if you’re not focused on your goal, you’re not getting it. Be truthful to yourself about what you are doing at the moment, if it is getting you closer to your goals or you are just ticking along. Are you busy being busy or are you actually productive?
This almost feels like I’m sharing a journal of personal life as I progress on my work towards creating wealth and abundance for myself. When we are on this path of prosperity and abundance, this is actually a journey of growth and self realization, you are going to have moments of doubt, despair, desperation and you’re going to come across obstacles which may seem insurmountable.
When I find myself in frustrating situations that feel too big for me to handle, I cast the burden of that situation over to divine energy. This is when I admit to divine energy that this is too much for me, that I cannot handle it, this is your problem. I had this situation that kept on occurring in my coaching business for months now and it occurred to me that I was seeking outside help, involving an external agency to help me with this particular issue but so far after wasting thousands of pounds and time, the conclusion I’ve come to is that nobody else can help me, this is something that I need to work out on my own.
Always rely on Divine energy for guidance in any situation in your life. My son’s results for his entrance examination into elite private school came through and my son Aryan fortunately got into these amazing schools. Earlier, the issues were getting into these schools but now it’s which one of them I should select for him. All of these schools are amazing but each one has its pros and cons and I have asked divine energy for guidance to make the right decision for my son. I really believe that having a strong educational background opens up the mind. I have three schools to choose from, School A wasn’t a school I was considering because I didn’t even think we could get in, I wasn’t really keen on School B but it was my second favourite and School C is my daughter’s school. I am very proud of my son and I prayed to thank God for helping him accomplish this feat, I also asked for guidance and we are going to visit all the schools before I make my decision.
Can anger be a virtue?
I would have either been in deep depression or suicidal but that anger allowed me to have enough motivation to move out of that situation. This is why I think anger is a beautiful emotion. When you are angry, it gives you the fuel required for you to move most of the time. People get uncomfortable then they become comfortable being uncomfortable that they don’t move out of the situations, anger makes you indignant, ashamed, frustrated. If you’re angry, frustrated, ashamed, you will do something about it. You will shift away from those situations, and this is what anger can help you do. A situation can make you sufficiently angry to give you the motivation to take action. You already know you have to make a move but you are procrastinating, this is one of the best virtues of anger, If you act on anger, Yes you will leave holes in the fence, the damage you do when you are angry and upset can never be repaired but it causes you to move when done right.
I hope you look upon your emotions of anger with a different light and you realize that you can actually channel your anger into taking greater action and that greater action will bring greater wealth to you. You cannot direct it to people because if you direct it to people , then you will lose, direct it at constructive action, which allows you to get close to your goals.



























