A quote I heard once said ‘There are things that we never want to let go of and people we never want to leave behind but keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world but the beginning of a new life” and this caused an energy shift in my life because I recently had to let go of a very close relative of mine and even though it was a difficult decision to make, I have found that this decision has bettered me as a person. The reason I had to let go of this relative of mine was that we were no longer on the same mental plane and even though I still love and respect her, our conversations were beginning to feel toxic to me; actively making the painful decision to pull back and let her go ended up restoring the positive energy that had been missing in my life.
When is it time to let go?
1. When someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you: No matter how optimistic you are, being surrounded by toxic people can cause their negativity to rub off on you. You are the average of the people you spend time with so to reach your full potential, you need to be surrounded by positive people.
2. When you have grown apart from someone: I have some childhood friends who I had to let go of because our ideas of life were no longer the same, while I am more ambitious and business-minded now most of them are content with their nine-to-five jobs and where they currently are in life. So even though I still love them and wish them well, we are no longer on the same wavelength and no longer share the same core values.
3. When you are unhappy with your circumstances: Sometimes it is good to persevere and keep moving forward even though your situation seems difficult. Other times it is better to cut your losses and move on before things get even more difficult than they already are. Sometime in 2011, I set up a business with my cousin which I ended up having to let go of about two years later due to a lack of clients; even though we had gotten all the accreditations and I had invested so much money, time and energy into this business it ended up not being fruitful. There will be times that you invest in something, in this case a business, and the universe just does not want you to move in that direction but as long as you have faith that things are happening for you and not to you and that universal energy would never give up on you, you will achieve the life you have desired for yourself.
4. When your goals change: When I decided to start a family, I chose to leave my goal of being a lawyer behind and to instead raise my children myself as a stay home mom. After my separation, I became the breadwinner and had to get back to work again to provide for my family; however I did not go back to law even though I had worked so hard to get that degree. My goals in life had changed and I had to let go of my identity as a lawyer in order to pursue all the other goals I have for my life; you have to let go of your old goals and move on to this newer, higher version of yourself who has new goals that are positive for your manifestation journey. If you are in a profession and a higher self is calling towards a different goal, then divine energy is pointing you to the next challenge of achieving the life you manifested for yourself.
5. When fear is holding you back: Part of letting go and moving on is facing the disappointments and mistakes of your past. I have been divorced for about six years now and a question I am always asked is why I have not moved on to another relationship after all this time; at first, I used my children and work as my excuse but I soon realized that I was letting my fear of having another narcissistic abusive partner hold me back from moving forward with a new partner. Whether it is a business or a partnership, you cannot let the bad experiences you have had in the past deter you from reaching your full potential and manifesting the dreams you have for your life.
6. When you are still living in your past: Sometimes we allow ourselves to develop these unrealistic expectations of ourselves, family members, friends, businesses, relationships, etcetera, and when these expectations are not met, we complain about what could have been and how we could have changed our past situations. If you do not allow yourself to let go of the sadness and pain from your past, you will never be able to move forward in your manifestation journey.
7. When you are holding grudges: Old grudges are only capable of hurting you if you allow them to. A grudge I remember having to let go of was one I had been holding against my brother and my sister-in-law; my brother had refused to let me move out of the house until I got married while his wife made it very difficult for me while I lived there and even though I love my brother so much right now our relationship was very different. I had not lived in their house since 2005 but I let myself carry that negative energy for years and was allowing this past event to stop me from moving forward and achieving the life of success that I was manifesting for myself.
8. When you are only seeing the pain from an experience and not the lesson: Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason and if you only allow yourself to see the pain an event has caused you, you will not be able to learn any lessons from these situations. You have to learn to not just let go of the pain of your past but to also let go of the self-made expectations you could not meet and forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. Let the pain go and embrace the lessons you learned from the experience instead.
Focus on the lesson, not the pain
During a recent visit to Pakistan, I was introduced to some relatives I had never met before and while I interacted with them I realized that even after being gone for 17 years, all these people still behaved the same way they did in the past. This was the universe showing me that even though I walk around trying my best to ignore it, most people behave badly and whether I believe it or not there will always be people whose energies are not good for me; this was a hard lesson for me to learn especially because it meant letting go of some people who were really close to me but unfortunately fit this description. Life has taught me that I cannot have blind faith in everyone and this lesson has saved me a lot of heartache for the future.
Tips on how to let go
1. Accept what happened and show gratitude for it: There is always some element of good that comes from a situation, no matter how bad the situation might have been. Bob Proctor once said ‘Whatever happens to you, there are equal amounts of good and bad’ meaning on your manifestation journey things are always balanced, if something good happens to you it is likely that something bad could happen to you as well. Accept reality as it is and show gratitude to the universe for the truth that you have now been made aware of.
2. Build some distance between the people you need to let go of: You need to build some distance between yourself and the people with negative energy in your life. There are people, for example family members or work colleagues, that you cannot completely avoid talking to completely so you can instead cut ties with them. Put some physical distance between you and them as well as energetic distance in order for you to recreate your relationship from a new angle.
3. Focus on what can be changed: In my case, I have been using Facebook as my primary platform for growing my business but now I am looking at other platforms which could help me expand better. You need to realise that when one door closes, the universe is always there opening other doors for you; let go of the closed door and focus on what can make your situation better and move you forward on your manifestation journey.
4. Be in control of your life: To truly let go, you need to claim ownership of your life. Do not let yourself live by other people’s views and standards, instead take responsibility for the events that are occurring in your life whether they are good or bad; I had to learn that if I could manifest the hurtful events I went through for myself then I could manifest wealth and prosperity into my life as well so I took personal responsibility for the bad of my past and refused to allow it define who I am today. Take personal responsibility for the events you are experiencing and make changes that will benefit your journey to wealth and elevate your positive vibration.
5. Be focused: Pay attention to the thoughts, words, and actions you are making and have positive conversations with your inner self to avoid manifesting negativity into your life. Everything that is showing up in your physical world externally is a direct reflection of what is happening in your inner world so take responsibility for the conversations you have with your inner self and focus on the positives to reap positive results.
6. Let go: Stop allowing yourself to associate with the people who radiate negative energy in your life, no matter who they are. Spend the limited time we have on earth with the people who spread positivity and make you feel good about yourself, not belittle you or make you feel like everything is wrong. If someone does not value who you are then you should not be spending the majority of your time with them.
Identify those people you need to let go of for you to move on and be happy with your life. Allow yourself to live in today, not in your past or in what your future will be because today is the moment that truly matters; your current life is the only thing that you can truly change so make sure to spend today thinking and manifesting positivity for your future self to enjoy tomorrow.