Today we are going to be discussing how to successfully embrace your ugly in order to key into your wealth and, as usual, I am going to share a recent personal experience with you to help explain my point.
Making money for yourself is a journey and on this journey of becoming abundant and wealthy, it is important for you to understand that you cannot let things from your past make you feel bad about yourself or make you feel less than who you are.
What is your ugly?
Your ugly, in this case, has nothing to do with your physical features or the imperfections you believe you see in your mirror every day but are in fact those experiences and moments of embarrassment that you feel you can never get away from no matter how hard you try.
Personally, I have had to deal with a lot of ugly moments in my life and as a British-born Pakistani woman, there has always been some stigma attached to these moments from my community. I have been divorced twice and in both marriages, I dealt with some form of abuse – physical abuse from my first husband and verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my second one who eventually left me with the most trauma, emotionally and energetically; One of the things he said to me towards the end, after I had caught him cheating and he had confessed to various other awful things he had done, was that no one would say anything to him even after what he had done to me and all fingers would eventually end up pointing in my direction since I was the one who had been divorced before.
And unfortunately, he was right. People from our community would not care about the reason behind it or if there was something harmful about the relationship, they would just think ‘She has been divorced twice? She must have a bad character or she is rude or she cannot keep a husband’ and in the end, the vast majority would blame me. But even though I knew there was truth in his statement and that it was about to be my new reality, I embraced the ugly of both divorces publicly and now I can proudly say that I am a completely empowered woman, a seven-figure earner with multiple businesses and a proud mother despite it all. And yet there are still times when people, especially people of Pakistani or Indian origin, have judged me and expressed how they believe something is wrong with me.
Recently, I went to the Pakistani embassy to get an ID card since I have never needed one until now and although I had all my other documents with me there; I did not have any of my marriage or divorce certificates as I did not think it was something that I would need to portray my origin. Unfortunately, I soon realised that it was necessary information as this person began to loudly ask several questions about my personal life in the middle of the embassy ‘Are you married or single?’ he began, I replied I was currently divorced ‘Do you have your marriage and divorce certificates with you?’ I replied I didn’t have a marriage certificate but I had a divorce certificate for the first one which he did not seem to understand so I explained to him that I had been divorced twice. I saw the judgmental look of astonishment on his face and the way his jaw dropped in reaction as he asked questions about my kids and where they were from and proceeded to send me on a wild goose chase to produce various additional documents, all the while trying to make me feel bad in the process. He deliberately went out of his way to announce very loudly, in the presence of my daughter, how I had been divorced twice, had had two husbands, and had a child from each of the marriages to the entire room just so he could make me feel small and demean me in their eyes. And even after all this, he still refused to give me my card until I came back with my brother to support me, even though I had all the necessary documents for it in my possession which I found completely foolish.
Now although I have pretty thick skin and I didn’t really let his words get to me, my daughter was quite upset by them and so I found myself being reminded of my second husband’s words and how this man at the embassy had been so quick to judge me without even knowing anything about the circumstances that warranted the divorces. But what I realised from this experience was that I could either choose anger and hold a grudge against this person who means absolutely nothing to me or I could choose not to let the words of this person who acted terribly to me dwell in my heart, forgive him and send him love and blessings instead because in the end I did not need to have all that negative energy while I went through the ID card process all over again. The moment I forgave him and cut chords from him, I found myself showing compassion and seeing things from his point of view, even though he had treated me badly. Do I think that he should behave like that with any other woman? Absolutely not. However, I realised that holding on to animosity added no benefit to my life, added no success to my life nor would it help elevate my vibration in any way especially because, looking back at it, no matter how many anti-Islam acts my ex-husband partook in and no matter how much I did everything right as a good Muslim wife and mother, I was still ridiculed, shamed and expected to feel bad about myself over my ugly moments.
Accepting your ugly
At some point, when I had allowed myself to feel really sad about all he did to me and about people’s reactions to my situation, I began to ask devices energy why they would bring someone like him into my life in the first place. If the Quran says good women for good men and bad women for bad men, then how did I end up being married to someone like him? How could a man like him be my destiny? And as I always say whenever you are having some sort of dilemma, the best course of action is to find an outlet that allows you to work out these emotions and alleviate yourself so I prayed to devices energy; to ask them why these things happened the way they did and to centre myself through prayer.
It was during this moment of prayer that I realised two things. Firstly, how I allowed myself to feel was a choice, I could either choose to feel humiliated and upset about what happened or I could choose to let it go. And Secondly, I had to believe that everything that happens in my life happens for me not to me, so I could choose to be a victim or I could choose to be empowered that this was just a lesson or a test for the progression of my life’s plan. The traumatic moments I had to deal with were part of the process I had to go through for me to grow into the person I have become today. It was during this period of prayer that I finally received this awareness and I soon felt calm and grateful again, no longer feeling the need to question what devices energy had planned for my life.
The moment you begin to feel that energy of gratitude and love towards devices energy, you have elevated your vibration and when you find out that you are on that raised vibration, you realise that abundance and everything else on that positive vibration would begin to come your way. The moment you come into alignment with positive energy, gratitude, and love that is the signal you are sending out to the universe, and surely that is eventually what would be sent back to you.
Embracing your ugly
It is important to not only understand, but to embrace what has happened to you in your past. Because I was able to embrace all the ugliness that I went through in the past, I am able to talk about it now without any feelings of shame and embarrassment and most importantly, I was able to get rid of all this negativity coming off this individual, cut costs with him and even have compassion for him and where he is in life. Embracing your ugly allows you to brush off those awful moments in your life and accept them as moments of growth and empowerment for you.
Embrace and own those dark, embarrassing sides of your story and see them as moments that have taught you and led you to be the person you are today and the person you continue to grow into. When I look in the mirror I love who I am despite what I have been through, I admire the woman I see in it for both what she has achieved and how far she has come in her life, and if I love who I am then how can I allow myself be angry at the past which made me who I am today? All those moments which at the time I found shameful and humiliating were just part of my journey to being this person whom I love and am immensely proud of.
When you get to this point where you can be grateful for the good, the bad, and the ugly of your journey, that is truly when you know you are on the right track and that your vibration has been elevated. And the moment you realise that your vibration has been raised, amazing things begin to line themselves up to come into your life.
Keep your vibration elevated, and the only way you can keep your vibration elevated is by continuously being in a state of gratitude even for the things that you should ordinarily not be grateful for. It is easy to show gratitude when things are going your way in life but it is important to show gratitude when you do not physically see those good results or when the shame of your past is being brought in front of you. Instead of being angry at the person that is trying to make you feel small, cut costs, allow yourself to send them love and blessings instead of animosity, and move on. When this incident at the embassy happened to me, I could have gone back into victim mode and allowed myself to get upset, yet I chose to forgive and move past this individual as well as show gratitude for all the experiences that have made me who I am today. And when you are in that state of gratitude and love, not just towards divine energy but to yourself as well, that is when you begin to open yourself up to abundance in all areas of your life.